So there I was...

...sitting at my desk planning a post about how I'm not the person you think I am. But I wasn't awake enough to write yet, so I did my usual wander through the internet. Email. News. Friends' blogs. And finally I landed in the esteemed halls of Blackfive...and got smacked in the face with one of those posts that can truly be called "life changing".

It was called On PTSD, or more properly, On Coming Home

One of the reasons I allow so much speculation (yes, much of it inaccurate) about my identity is that my resume or CV says little about what I've seen and experienced. I ask my readers to meet me on my own terms, and most of you are beyond gracious about it.

Most people who get to know me in "real life" eventually encounter an internal border, and few want to know what's on the other side, let alone cross it. And as much as it frustrates me, I can't blame them. That border has yellow tape and danger signs all over it, and people are afraid that they'll be as bad off if not worse than me if they cross it.

But the article I just linked...please consider reading it. It may have a flaw or two, but I'm not distant enough to see it yet. If you've ever seen someone (including yourself) put up walls after something that happened in their life, the article is worth your time.

I've found the greatest understanding of these struggles amongst military personnel, and I'm touched beyond words at the grace that the article's author extends to non-military sufferers. I've struggled for a long time to fit into people's PTSD boxes; I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief to find one that fits.

"Make us glad according to the days You have afflicted us; and the years we have seen evil." Psalm 90:15


Part 2